During a recent radio interview concerning our book about men and women, the female host suggested that Gina Barreca and I ask each other questions. Gina went first. She asked me how I thought my professional career would have been different had I been born a girl.

I said that, given my basic outlook on life, I probably would still be a humor writer. I just wouldn't be as funny.

After recovering from the 20-fingernail mauling, I decided that this subject was worth exploring further. So, Gina and I wrote an entire column in which we discussed how my behavior, at key moments of my life, would have been different had I been female.

Unfortunately, you will not read that column. My editor, Tom the Butcher, felt it was not quite worthy of publication in the sense that it was -- and I am quoting Tom here -- "rancid and inept." This bothered me a little.